But my brain is too tired to write anything that has to make sense. I have this long list of things to blog about but I can’t handle that either, right now, so here’s some entirely random, stream-of-consciousness from me. Move over, Jack Kerouac.
Church this morning–it was our fourth week at the new church. When we appeared the first week everyone was all welcoming and asking how we found the place. The truth is, I knew more about it than half the welcomers, because I did hard-core Internet research to find the perfect church in Chicago long before we even moved. We just didn’t get it together enough to get there on a Sunday until this month. A bit of a New Year’s thing to get up and go.
Even Cole loves the place, which is remarkable, seeing as church has never meant much of anything to her before and God means even less. But as far as family activities go, she is all for it. As for uber-churchy me, I can say (and did, after only two weeks’ attendance) that it’s the best church I’ve ever been to, hands down. And I have loved other places in the past, and been very involved in lots of other places.
Here’s why I love it:
It has a serious number of members who are not white. I don’t mean, “oh look, how nice, a Negro!” I mean, it’s a truly racially mixed church. Roughly, I’d guess it’s about 30% Black, 60% white and 10% other–lots of Latina/o, some South Asian, lots of mixed-race people, etc. Nat has plenty of places to look for grown-up Black role models and young Black peers, adopted, transracially adopted, born into their families, with two same-sex parents, with single parents, etc. etc. etc. (Selina too, of course, but she’s too little to notice yet.)
That brings me to the fact that maybe 20% of the membership is queer. The rector is a gay, long-partnered white man who spent many years in D.C. so he and I reminisce. There’s never a drop-the-bomb moment of worrying that the person I’m talking to will suddenly feel weird to find out I’m a lesbian as there often is pretty much everywhere else in life. I mean, any given person may not realize that I’m a lesbian, but they take it for granted that plenty of people in the pews around them will be. No biggie.
It answers to my idea of the perfectly Episcopal church. That is, it’s full of lovely liturgical tradition, but not stuffy in the least. Lots of processing and bell-ringing and music and candles and kids and adults in various states of vestiture and yet the altar is a round table in the middle of the sanctuary/nave with pews coming off of it like wheel spokes. It just shouts “the table of God’s people!” through design. It’s theatre-in-the-round, which has always been a favorite of mine, but I’ve never seen it in a church.
For Epiphany, about two dozen golden stars and a mess of golden streamers are hanging from the vaulted ceiling to just above the altar. Nat found this immediately captivating. So did I. Tasteful, but contemporary and celebratory. I can’t wait to see what they hang there throughout the rest of the year.
If you think I am dwelling an awful lot on the material aspects of the place, that’s because I find my own spirituality and connection to the divine to be most aided by these kinds of sensory touchpoints. It’s why I like the Episcopal Church in the first place. I consider it excellent theatre. I think church can be largely a matter of taste and this is mine. Finding a herd of people who share it and also find their connection to the divine through it makes for instant bonding and a basis for intimacy. So I trust we can grow to love the people there, too.
Which also reminds me that the music program is excellent. There’s a new music director and he has wide-ranging eclectic taste and talents, so there’s a great variety of music styles every Sunday. On MLK Sunday, though, we had a jazz trio do everything, including a special Duke Ellington piece. There are choirs for kids starting at Nat’s age, so she can start learning to sing next Fall.
So far everyone has been super. People bent over backwards to welcome us and the kids and get us involved right away. It’s got a warm glow to it. They serve an entire real meal after the service too, not just coffee and donuts. Today it was mini-veggie quiches and little make-it-yourself ham sandwiches on rolls. Sharing a real meal, not just stand-up food makes for a cozy environment in which to get to know people, I think. Plus, I’m usually so low on blood sugar by the end of the service it’s all I can do not to faint on the way downstairs to the food.
Last week, as luck would have it, was the annual meeting to which I brought a big casserole of beans and rice for the potluck (Episcopalians who do potluck–the perfect blend of my Baptist childhood and my Episcopal present!). Thus I got to find out what the heck the church is up to as far as the neighborhood and the city and the world. The church is around the corner from the Obamas’ old house and the prayers on the Sunday before the inauguration, named “our neighbor, Barack Obama” for a blessing. The church is quite entrenched in the neighborhood and does quite a bit of work to preserve its mixed-race, mixed-class character. it opens the doors to parents who need a place for kids to run around in the winter; many members are involved in a local project to protect the lower-income neighbors from displacement due to gentrification (and the possible upcoming Olympics, should Chicago get them); many members walk to church from homes nearby. (We drive 40 minutes all the way across town.)
Get this. They do Montessori Sunday School for the kids. Who’s ever even heard of such a thing? They call it “Godly Play” and it’s totally awesome. Nat picked up the rug and the routine immediately. She likes the sand box with little Bible characters (to make scenes in the desert!) the best. You can also get a baby doll in a Christening gown, pour water into a little bowl and baptize her. It slays me. Who thought this up? I am so impressed.
That’s everything I can think of for now. Sunday is everyone’s favorite day now. Nat had a tantrum and didn’t want to leave this morning. That’s how awesome fun it is.
Yeah. Just like Jack Kerouac.
I’m jealous. In my neck of the woods liturgy and diversity/openness do not meet. I choose the open congregation, but I miss the candles and ceremony so bad it hurts.
I did a Sunday School class one year in which I took the kids to visit different houses of worship. We would visit one Sunday and talk about them the next. By the end of the year I could walk them into a Sanctuary and they could look around and tell me the key points to that denomination’s theological commitments.
Just the location of pulpit, altar, and baptismal can tell you a lot.
That class is where I first got to know Carl.
That sounds like an awesome congregation. I’m jealous, too–we left a very large and active synagogue in Old State and we’re still struggling with the sense of community/ritual here in New State. What a wonderful place for Nat and Selina to grow up in! And for you and Cole, too, of course.
Wow, Godly Play! I read about it and considered it for the church where I was on staff. But I quickly decided we didn’t have the right kind of volunteer base. There are a couple of churches in our area that do it. Very envious (although I think we do incorporate some Godly Play ideas in the 2 & 3 year old class my mom and I are now teaching).
Jealous!
I wish there were more places like that, in lots of denominations.
Ooooo, that sounds so GOOD.
I’m feeling so discouraged at our church right now. Sort of disastrous building program, no good long-term prospects for youth group (ours are the only second-graders attending Sunday school right now), and the choir program … well, it stinks.
There are no other good Lutheran options, and I’m feeling too tired to check out the Episcopalians. (Plus my kids call that church there home and screamed bloody murder the one time they overheard us talking about change.) But … oh. Jealousy.
shannon — glad to hear that you found your church. it sounds like a lot of fun and now i really want a ham sandwich.
wow, this sounds so lovely! have you read “take this bread” by sarah somebody (sorry, my brain is fried?) about a lesbian convert and her church in san fran? sounds a lot like your new church. (my review of her book is one of the first, i think, on my new blog).
Wow.
That is exactly the sort of Episcopal church we would go to if we were urban. Sounds absolutely perfect.
As it is, we go (in a backslider sort of way) to a tiny suburban/country church. Before we even visited, I called the priest to make sure that it’s an open and affirming congregation. Although we are the first and only two-mom family (and the only openly gay members), everyone has gone out of their way to be welcoming. I love that Kiddo is able to experience liturgy is similar to her grandparents’ Catholic tradition in the midst of a welcoming congregation.
I am so happy for you and your family that you’ve found such a great church! I admit I am envious. I’ve tried and tried and have found nothing remotely similar close to our home. Maybe it’s time to consider driving an hour to San Francisco.
Enjoy!
Dori
Wow – you described our church to a “T” (what does that mean anyway?).
http://www.trinitycleveland.org
Yea – I’m glad to know there are other places out there like our church – sometimes I feel like we are a fringe Episcopal church when I read of some of things going on in the larger church. The most recent previous Bishop of Chicago (Bill Persell) came to Chicago from Trinity where he had been the Dean when I was on the vestry (before having kids). He was the one who had all the pews removed (oh the horror!!) so we could have more usable space for community things and interesting worship etc. Thanks for writing about your experience – I hope folks in the Cleveland area check out Trinity Cathedral for a similar type place.
Check out http://www.trinitycleveland.org for a very similar church in Cleveland Ohio. So much in common – the previous Bishop of Chicago came from Trinity – great guy – Bill Persell. Godly Play, diversity in many ways, creative use of space, etc. So glad you found a church you like and that likes you!
In my experience, it’s diverse/ largely nonwhite Episcopal churches that have the good food. White people tend to just bring cookies, and sometimes only coffee (the horror!) We have finally found a church where the theology, the youth (Godly Play!) and the spending priorities (outreach) suit us, but it’s not as diverse as we would like it to be. Still, it feels good to be in an Episcopal church again.
I know how you feel. Except for the diversity (which frankly, is VERY hard to find in a Jewish congregation) our synagogue is just like that. We have a really open congregation, a good and growing number of gay/lesbian (mostly lesbian) couples, and a lot of adoptive families. There are a ton of fun kid activities and my children beg to go to Hebrew School. We also have a full meal (lunch) after services every Saturday. I used to think people who spent hours at religious services were a bit over the top- and now, every Saturday we’re there from at least nine to one!
Sounds like a cool church.
Wow, I’m sold. I’d love to go to church there!